Aftermath of Christmas Day

Here is it the day after Christmas and I'm wondering where did this entire year go? I have to tell you I haven't been great at blogging, but I hope this new year to do better. We had a nice surprise on 23 December. The neurologist that wanted to see Austin, our granddaughter,office called us on 23 Dec. said they had someone cancel their appointment on 24 Dec., yes Christmas Eve, and asked could we bring Austin in for that appointment at 8:45 A.M., of course I said yes! We were suppose to have kept her up until midnight, then let her sleep until 4:00 A.M. and wake her up, and keep her up, until the appointment at 9:00 A.M. We had to be there 15 minutes early to fill out paperwork. Well we couldn't keep her up until midnight, but I did wake up at 4:30 A.M. and woke her up. We did manage to keep her up until we got her to the neurologists office, were they did the EEG on her. They wanted to rule out any seizure disorder, and guess what, she didn't have any! YEA, God is Great! They managed to put the things in her hair, without us being there with her, and she did fall asleep for them, without them having to drug her up to go to sleep. The doctor then saw us about 11:30 A.M. and told us the results of the EEG he had just done on her. He took all her information and what information I could furnish him on her birth and other things of her little life, and with the test results and all, he said that she was probably having these behavior issues due to sleep deprovation. LACK OF SLEEP. Hey, I can tell you about that, you see, when she's up, I have to get up. I know I'm not a bowl of cherries in the morning when I don't get enough sleep. So he said that he will recommend another different medication than one of them she is taking for sleep, as the one she is on doesn't keep her asleep that long he said. The one he is recommending will keep her asleep longer, hoping that we can keep the CPAP machine on her she has to use, therefore she gets much needed sleep and rest. I sure hope so. It would be so nice if she would sleep in her own bed at night, and I wouldn't have to rock her, so I can sleep in my own bed at night time. While we were there at the neurologist we met a couple going through the adoption faise with the little boy they had with them. We started talking about behaviors and we happened to mention on of the RAD (reactive attachment disorder)theripist that Ausitn sees, and she was givnen that same name to take her hopefully new son to soon. We told her that the theripist comes really highly recommened, that if her soon to be son does have RAD, that the lady we are speaking of will soon help her, like she has helped us. I just hope and pray that they don't have all the behavior issues we have had with our granddaughter. But I can say one thing, we have had little Austin for 5 years now and I can see her growing up right in front of my own eyes. I didn't think she'd stay little forever, but geeze, where is the time flying. Before I know it, she'll be as grown up as Miss Emmy is! What out Tom and Becky, I'll be coming to you all for advice. Well I need to get off here and try to get my little cheurb asleep for the night. In the meantime, you all take time for your children. God put them here for us to take care of them, so do just that. God loves each of us, as we are his children. We, of course, are old enough to make the righ choices for ourselves, most of the time, so let's try to say this up coming year, we're going to make the right decision for our kids too. If not the right decision, at leaset a good choice, as they aren't old enough to do for themselves yet. God Bless each of you and when you think of others first, you've done your part to help this world head in the right direction.

What A Joy this time of year is

Hi Everyone...Isn't it funny that this time of year people seem more generous than at other times? Why is that you suppose? Do you think it may have to do with the birth of our Christ? Well I'm glad that people are generous, but I feel you should be that way all the time, not just at Christmas. I know that this is the normal time we give "presents", but people have needs all thoughout the year, not just at the holiday times. I truly believe that all people have good intentions, but even the best laid plans come to a halt sometimes. Next time your out at the store, pick up an extra can or two of food, or non-parisable items, put them in a box. Before too long you will have a nice little box of food you can give someone. That would make a nice present all the time, as we all need to eat all the time, not just during the holidays. I know, I don't mean to sound synical, but it is the time of giving and I really think we need to think more about giving all the time. Jesus is the reason for this season, and he gave his all for us. The least we can do is help our fellowmen/women/children out. If you see a good sale on meat items, pick up something and if you have a freezer put it in there, if not, see if your church has space in their freezer to put the meat items until you can give it to someone that needs it. I know I have a big freezer at home, but I still would think if I needed to use my church's freezer space, if they have some extra space, I'd put a nice chicken, ham or even a turkey in there to go along with can goods that we have in our food pantry. It is just a though, but a good one. You can't get very many meat products in a can,and if you do, they are normally so expensive for just a small bit. I would like to think that especially during this time of year, if you see games or toys on sale, pick up that extra toy, find out if your church has an "Angel Tree", put the give under the tree. I'm sure that someone would find it a new home for the holidays. We have so many children here in America, even this small one little town of Wichita, that kids need so much. Warm clothes are a must during this cold season. Pick up an extra pair of mittens, gloves or even gete the fleece and make a scarf or two, give that to the "Angel Tree". You see kids that walk to school or even to the bus stop in freezing weather without cold weather clothes each day. Just drive around in the early mornings, check out the bus stops, you'll see kids that don't have gloves, hats or even coats to wear, even shoes that fit them corretly. We can't save the entire planet, but we can do our part to help these kids, especially during a season we seem to be more "giving" than any other time of the year. If you don't want to drive out in the cold weather, check your local schools, churches, Head Starts and such, see if there are children there you can give a coat, nice warm pair of shoes that fit right, gloves, scarfs, hats, things that keep them warn to wear. Families are having it rough this year all over, but the ones of us that are lucky, not having too much of a struggle, keep in mind that our children are the future, to keep that going, we have to keep the kids going. Think about the kids that go home hungry over the weekend. Do they have enough to eat? Buy a package of goods at your local Dillon's store to put in the back pack program. This way you know the kids will have some sort of food over the weekend to eat. Free lunches and breakfasts are great, but if you don't get them on weekends or school breaks, you can imagine how hungry one can be.
I hope this isn't too depressing, but just food for thought. Just a play on words.
But think about picking up that extra can good, food item, gloves, hat, coat for a child in need. If nothing else, you can contact me here, I can find a home for your donations. I know a lot of little kids that suffer, not because their parents are not working, but they just can't get a lot of hours. These are working parents that do have jobs, but no benefits or big paying jobs. These are the people that are helping themselves and need help too. We can give to the people on the streets, yes, but aren't you willing to help someone that is helping themselves too? After all, it's not about the adults, it's all about the kids, they did not ask to be put in a position to be hungry, cold or lacking of medical needs. If their parents are doing the best they can, sometimes, that isn't good enough, that is where you come in my friend. You can call it "Pay it Forward", "Giving a helping Hand", "Picking up the pieces", what ever it is you want to call it, but most of all it is called "Human decency", being kind to our fellow mankind. Jesus would be so proud of the way we act this time of year,after all he was the one that started giving in the beginning anyway. He was the one that gave first. He is the one that will always keep giving. Trust in the Lord, and he will be there for you always.
Teach your kids to pray, be kind to each other and most of all, love the Lord.
God Bless each one of you.

Hi everyone! I just wished my dear friend, Tom a very happy birthday today. I didn't get to see him, but I'll give him a call tomorrow. I had some erands to do today, so I was too pressed for time. I'll have some extra time tomorrow and will call him up. DO you hear that my dear friend Tom?? I know that you put others ahead of yourself. You have a wonderful family and I wish that things wouldn't be so rough at times. I've been having some problems myself. I had a severe sort throat this past Sunday. I didn't even go teach my children's church class. Thank God, I got a lady to teach the kids for me Sunday. Wanda is such a great person. She'll do what she can and not complain, just work until the job is done. She is such a joy to be around. I got the results back from my granddaughter's neuropsychologist work-up. The scores jumped around so much they doctor has no idea why. The doctor, Dr. Trevor Patton, said he's really concerned about Austin. The doctor had tears in his eys when he was taking about the results on Austin's work-up. He said that the scores he saw on her results was not what he expected. He said they jumped from about 2 yrs. old up to being a 15 (fifteen) year old. One of the scores he's seen was lower than he has ever seen. The score he's saw before was about a 56 and Austin's was a 42! He said this type of score is mostly seen in brain damaged children. He said that was the lowest he's ever seen that score, and that was with brain damaged children. He said that she can speak like she's 10 years old, but what she receives is the problem. She receives information like she was 1 yr. 9 months old child. She can speak very well, but it is what she gathers in her hearing process. So given that, we have to find a doctor that will do a sleep study with an EEG. HE wants to rule out any seizurre activites. He said that her sleep apnea could be causing her to have all these weird problems on her evaluation. I know that it all ranges from 1 yr. 9 months up to 15 years old. That is a big jump for anyone, from almost 2 to 15 yr. old. He said that he thinks it is a medical problem. He wants a complete blood work-up on her to include metobolic testing. He said if she tells us she is seeing bees, flies and such, she probable is seeing these types of things. It is scary to think she is seeing these types of things, but if she is, they need to find out the reason why. She still screams at us and throws a big tantrum when she can't get her way or wants something. I just pray that they will find out what is going on with her. Let the Lord heal her and comfort her each and every day. I know that Austin is one cute little smart girl, but she does have other issues that rally need to be takend care of. So if anyone has an extra prayer tonight and tomorrow, please pray for Austin to find out what is going on with her and let her be healed.
Thank you Lord for allowing Austin to live with us. My wonderful husband, Craig and I just love her so much. We'd do anything necesary in order for her to get well. We will continue to pray that she is healed soon and will be the strong and sweet little girl she has always been. Thank you God.
Mollie

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD-SHOE BOX PROJECT

OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD
If you would like to donate, please go to this website:
http://master.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/Pack_A_Shoe_Box/
or
YOU CAN DROP OFF DONATIONS AT:

CHRIST COMMUNITY CHURCH UNITED METHODIST
2130 S. WEBB RD.
WICHITA, KS 67207
PHONE NUMBER: 316-689-8361
WEBSITE: http://www.cccum.org/
HARRY B. CHRISTIAN, SENIOR PASTOR

PLEASE GIVE! ONE SMALL DONATION CAN MAKE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE FOR THESE CHILDREN.
GIFT IDEAS ARE:
TOYS small cars, balls, dolls, stuffed animals, kazoos, harmonicas, yo-yos, jump ropes, small Etch A Sketch®, toys that light up or make noise (with extra batteries), Slinky®, etc. SCHOOL SUPPLIES pens, pencils and sharpener, crayons or markers, stamps and ink pad sets, writing pads or paper, solar calculators, coloring and picture books, etc. HYGIENE ITEMS toothbrush, toothpaste, mild bar soap (in a plastic bag), comb, washcloth, etc. OTHER Hard candy and lollipops (please double bag all candy), mints, gum, T-shirts, socks, ball caps; sunglasses, hair clips, toy jewelry, watches, flashlights (with extra batteries) A PERSONAL NOTE In a separate envelope, you may enclose a note to the child and a photo of yourself or your family. (If you include your name and address, the child may write back.) (DO NOT INCLUDE: Used or damaged items; war-related items such as toy guns, knives or military figures; chocolate or food; out-of-date candy; liquids or lotions; medications or vitamins; breakable items such as snow globes or glass containers; aerosol cans )

PRAY:Please pray for the thousands of boys and girls who will receive shoe boxes this year. Pray that through the gifts and Gospel literature, these children and their families would come to know Jesus Christ

Operation Christmas Child brings joy and hope to children in desperate situations around the world through gift-filled shoe boxes and the Good News of God’s love.

It's that time of Year again..Won't you Give?

Hi Everyone,
I bet you thought I had left and was never coming back - NO! I have been so busy, still am, but I want my dear beloved friends, Tom, Becky and their two beautiful children to know I love them dearly and want to continue our wonderful friendship, even if we can't seem to meet up with each other in person. First of all, school has started back..Deep down I say YEA! but then again, it is time to get up every morning early, get my little granddaughter, Austin, ready to go to school and that itself is a whole day's work. She loves school, but doesn't sleep very well, so she doesn't like to wake up early in the mornings. You see she has sleep apnea and has so much trouble getting the quality and quanity of sleep a little girl needs. I pray each night that God will see me and her through each day, and so far he has kept his word. It's hard, but we know that she must go to school, and since she's just a little kid, she must have someone to guide her throught these early learning years. She thinks she is the only kid that has gone to school and had homework. That is a book by itself. She absolutly hates homework. Matter of fact, she doesn't like to do her work in the classroom. Her report card reflected it this year. She has been making the honor roll for every reporting period the last two years of school, and this first year in 2nd grade, she just got average work. It's not because she doesn't know the work, it is because she won't do it in class. She lags behind so the other kids resent her too. Oh what can we do to help her get motivated? I know, we've offered her several different items. Now we have a tin can with 7 things inside on slips of paper and when she's earned two days of good behavior she gets to pick one of the slips of paper and gets whatever treat is written on it. It goes from making cookies with me to earning $3.00! So I have a feeling that is what she's looking to earn, money. you know kids these days, they love money and to spend it. I love to spend it too, but you have to make it first in order to spend. Children, it's funny how they always think their parents are the number one Bank in town, isn't it? No matter what, your child always thinks that their parents can afford everything, just like all the other parents do. My granddaughter, Austin, always tells me, Nanny, you have that card put it in the machine to get money. She is speaking of the ATM Debit card of course. She knows if I write a check, it's money, but she has no idea that you can run out of money in the "real" bank. She thinks that there is a real money tree some place in this whole wide world. Oh the dreams of sugar plums and fairies we had as children. Remember way back when? I know, you're probably not that old yourselves..But let me tell you, I'm 57 yrs. old and I know that you can have all the dreams you want, just close your eyes and leave it up to the Lord. He will always lead you in the right direction. I trust my Lord to do just that. Without him in my life, I don't know what I would do. He is there to guide me and help me along the way to raise my wonderful granddaughter, no matter what. He doesn't care what I look like in the mornigs, what I wear, how much money I have, He just wants us to LOVE HIM no matter what. He will take care of the rest. I teach my children in children's church that no matter what, Jesus will always be there for them. He guides them each day and is always there to list to them. We can say a little pray that He will guide all the little children today, and let them all be safe within His reach.
I want to tell you that today, make a list of things you really want to accomplish. Try it. I know it will be hard to do, but if you can even list one thing to do today, try your very best to do just that one thing. If it's saying a prayer to our dear Lord, do it. Show yourself you can accomplish something, even if it is just one simple little prayer. Prayer will take you far, I know. I've had some rough times, some bad illnesses, and without prayer, I probably wouldn't be here today. It's going on 11 years of being breast cancer free. I'm so very thankful for that. My mother passed away at the age of 67 from breast cancer. My father died at the age of 58 with cancer and he had a massive heart attack. So I've love both my parents to a dreadful disease. I have a sister that has beat the odds too with breast cancer. She only had a lumpectomy, like I did, but that ws it for her. She didn't have to have any radiation, nor chemo. I had 5 1/2 weeks of radiation but no chemo. I'm so thankful for that. I can't tell you all how wonderful it is to be in the Lord's world today, raising my granddaughter. Even thought I complain a lot about her, I still wouldn't change it for the world. I think it is a matter of both of us needing each other.
Dear Lord, Please take care of all the children in the world today and every day. Take care of all the people that need help and the ones that won't admit they need help. Everyone needs you today Lord. Not one person on this earth can say that they have the perfect life, if they don't have YOU in their lives. Take care of our soliders over seas too. They are giving their lives for us to have freedom here in the USA. Their families are missing them during the holiday time. While we are enjoying the freedom that America has given each one of us, there is always a price to pay for it. These young women and men pay it with their own lives each day that goes by. Just like you Lord, they fight for a reason that they believe in. They see that this dreadful country has a need and hopefully they are there for the children of that country too. Amen.
Don't you feel like you've already accomplished something?
Also my church, Christ Community Church United Methodist is collecting items to put in our Operation Christmas Child - Shoe box project. My children's church class started collecting all sorts of shoe boxes and now we're asking people to go online to the website, Operation Christmas Child-Shoe Box project with the Samaritans Purse Organization and give what they can. There are so many things you can do, and this little project is just one of the small ways you can give each year to a child and know that it is greatly appreciated. If you'd like to donate items or money, you can either drop them off or mail them to our Church's address:
Christ Community Church United Methodist, 2130 S. Webb Rd. Wichita, KS 67207. Our phone number is: 316-689-8361. The website is: cccum.org. My children's church classroom are the ones that has started this wonderful project this year. We're looking for all sorts of things to fill each and every one of the many many shoe boxes we've gathered. Like I said, if you'd like to donate items or money, please feel free to do so, as it is for the children. With the cash, as it cost $7.00 to ship each and every shoe box, this is what it buys; a Bible in that child's language, more religious matherials, then the people at the wear house that load up the shoe boxes to ship, puts these precious items in each shoe box, then what is left over will be enough to ship the box to the country it is intened for. Our new pastor for our wonderful little church is Pastor Harry Christian. The church's website is: www.cccum.org . You can go there and read up what we're doing and while you're at it, stop by and see me! Just remember, I'm the one that is under the pile of shoe boxes trying to get them filled for the children that are really looking forward to hearing about Christ and know that maybe, just maybe, there will be a new toy or even shoes in the shoe boxes they will be receiving from this wonderful organization, OPERATION CHRISTMAS CHILD - SHOE BOX, SAMARITANS PURSE ORGANIZATION.
GET INVOLVED THIS YEAR! http://master.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/Pack_A_Shoe_Box/
We are taking donations up until 8 November. This will give us time to get the items, wrap the boxes and take them down to our local collection location. If you'd like to make up your own box, you can do so, just do not wrap it closed. You must leave the box so the people can get into it to place the Bible and other items in it when they get it to the shipping depot. Thank you all ahead of time. It will be greatly appreciated I know.

Trying my best to Catch-UP!

Well here it is 4 July and I'm trying my best to get caught up here. I'm so sorry I've not been here before to let you know what is going on. I have been on my 'ups' and 'mostly downs' lately. I was so down this past week thought of nothing but how I can get help for my wonderful little grandaughter. You see she is in COMCARE here in Wichita, KS. That is an organization that is suppose to help children or just anyone that has a lot of mental or emotional issues or other children at risk issues. Since we have been here she has been in the care of her doctor that is also located at COMCARE for the last 4 years. She is diagnosed with RAD, ODD, PTSD, ADHD and has been sexually abused before we got legal guardianship of her at age 3 years old. She has an SED waiver. This means SED (severely emotionally disturbed), and since she has had some issues of saying she's going to kill herself or injure herself, they did put a SED waiver on her case so she can qualify for different programs with the medicaid card from KS. Well the other day her caseworker called me and said that she was leaving the program (COMCARE) and that another person at COMCARE was going to take over Austin's case. She called me and asked me to either come down there or they can come out to my house. It is much easier for me to go there and I asked her if I should bring my granddaughter to meet her new caseworker. OF course she left that up to me, so I thought it was a good idea to bring her along to meet her new case worker. I had no idea that anything else would take place, just the meeting of the new caseworker. I knew that they may have some paperwork to fill out but nothing like I encountered. When I got there with my granddaughter, I met her caseworker and we went to a little room where there was the new caseworker and another person. We were all females in the room, so I expected that we all would just talk about her (granddaughter's) care and future with COMCARE. Low and behold was I in for a shock! I was told that since my granddaughter has been "in the system" with the SED waiver over a year they were going to pull it. Said that since they were making so many changes and I guess with budget issues they said that she only was suppose to have the waiver for a year. It seems that the SED waiver is, according to them, is only suppose to be a short term fix, and on the kid's case for only a year. Well then they went on to tell me that my granddaughter had the SED waiver for three years and that they were going to pull it on the end ofJuly 2009. YES, in one month! I was shocked needless to say. The new caseworker for my granddaughter had a telephone number witten on a piece of paper and sort of pushed it towards me. It had the SSI telephone number written on it. Nothing was said that they would help me fill out the paperwork or anything. I went into complete shock needless to say. I told them if I had known that this was a "back stabbing issue" I would not have brought my granddaughter. I had tears rolling down my face needless to say. I was mad, up set and mostly in shock over the news that the SED waiver was being pulled. With this waiver my granddaughter gets her services she has now. They charge the services to the medicaid card from the state. This means in all, that my granddaughter will have NO services as she has now. She will no longer have an attendant care worker, no phsychosocial group she normally would attend, no case worker, I would have no parent coach, no wrap around services and no respite. I had never used the respite since I've been in the COMCARE due to they don't have it. This year they did train some of the caseworkers to be "respite" workers, but it was not an over night thing. It was more on the lines of attendant care worker. They would take my granddaughter or whomever the case may be, and keep them for a few hours then I'd have to pick them up. It was not what the respite care is suppose to be. Respite care is set for parents to get a break from the kid that has the emotional issue and to keep the family together. Well low and behold, this one is going to fall apart if we dont' have the servics that we can get for our granddaughter. We did get other insurance on her due to her attachment theripist doesn't take the state card. We had to get private insurance on her so we could still see the attachment theripist she has now and to get her on her sleep apena machine she also has. They said her state medicaid card will be pulled as of 30 July 09, so she will no longer get any services that are charged to the state medicaid card. Our private insurance won't cover the things she needs for her emotional care. I have no idea where we can go from here. I have tried to contact serveral people here in Wichita, KS to see where I can go for help. I have no idea, neither do they. I have a parent coach through the COMCARE SED waiver since my granddaughter has issues. The parent coach is there for support for me and my husband. She gets suggestions and goes with me for meetings. I had no reason to call her up and say that I was going to see the new caseworker, as I thought that was all it was. Needless to say, if I had to do it over again, I'd have her right there beside me. She told me that since they knew what they were going to do, that is why they did not tell me ahead of time. They knew that I would call my parent support coach and she would come to help me during the meeting. I have no idea where I can go now for support or help for my granddaughter. She has been acting out at her latchkey program she goes to this June and July. She has gone here to this program for the last two years, and she has not acted out. Now this summer she has thrown her tantrums and stompped her feet, told the workers she was not going to do something. They told me they have not seem this side of her and I'm glad that finally she acted out so someone at her school could see that side. I didn't want her to act out needless to say, but she does it here at home all the time, so I'm glad that she finally acted out so someone else could see for themselves what I was saying. So given that, that is why I haven't gotten on here and written much. I'm so lost. I'm so depressed with all this mess. My granddaughter is still acting out at home, stating she's going to run away, runs form us and goes out in the street riding her bike without a light at night up till 9:30 P.M.. I can't run after her! I'm too old for this I think. They say that God never gives you more than you can take..hum, I don't know about that! it seems I'm almost at my wits end here soon. I'll try my best to do better. Please put me and my granddaughter on your prayer list. I need the help and support of everyone I can get. I dont' know where to turn now for help. Only now God it is in his hands to help us. I know he will and I will let him tell me how.
Thank you Jesus for being there for us. I love you God, and I hope the way you see for me to go will come to me soon. In His name, Molliej.

Hey, Mollie, this is your blog speaking. How have you been? Wow, I sure have missed you here. I know that you're busy but I miss your stories. I miss hearing all about you and Craig and little Austin. And they told me that you are our expert in teaching the children about Christ since the you have the most experience with Sunday school for little kids. So I'm here waiting for all the fabulous ideas that I know you will be putting on your blog to share with everyone else. But until you're ready for that I just want you to remember that God loves you and so do all we.

Signed, your blog.

Thankless moments

Here it is 13 May and I'm trying to express the hurt I feel. Maybe I shouldn't say hurt, maybe I should say "I got my feelings hurt"! You're asking 'HOW?' Well first of all May 2 was my 57th birthday. YEA ME...For the last 57 years it's always been on May 2~! Go figure, my youngest son, age 34, the son who's daughter we are currently raising forgot my birthday..AGAIN! He thought it was after Mother's day. Now I'll go into Mother's Day! He called my cell phone, knowing that I normally don't have my cell phone on while I'm in the house. I can't hear it ring so normally I just have people, most everyone I know, call my home telephone number when they call me. Not my 34 yr. old son! He calls my cell phone, late on Mother's Day and leaves me a little message saying he had to work that day, but would be off Tue. He just wanted to call and say "Happy Mother's Day". He didn't try to call the house phone, nor did he try to call me back on Monday! Here I am raising his daughter that has all sorts of emotional problems, not that it's her fault, but he can't even remember my birthday nor Mother's Day and send a card for either? What sort of son did I raise I ask myself each day! I can't understand where his brain is..I'd like to say, but after all I try to keep my anger under control. I give up my time and health and all to raise this wonderful little girl that needs someone to always be there for her, and her stupid parents just take me for granite! I can't understand his thought process at all. He is living with his girlfriend, um I think they are engaged now, but when a wedding is going to happen, I have NO idea. I had to say something to him about just how I feel today when he called to speak to his daughter. I should have told him no more calls until he recognizes what he needs to do to be a real father. He thinks because he pays $200.00 a month in child support that is enough to do for his daughter. I keep reminding him I am not his x-wife, nor his x-girlfriend that made this child. I am his mother that took over his responsibilities of raising his daughter that he couldn't raise! He was the one that wanted me to tell the social workers in AZ that he couldn't lift his baby due to his bad back. I'm the one that has failed back surgery, not him. I'm the one with a permanent disability, not him. I draw SSDI, which is social security disability due to I was medically retired from my 20 year career! He works in a store like a game crazy store, where they sell video games, and all sorts of gaming equipment. He only makes about $7.50 an hour, and that is with a recent raise! He use to have an $11.00 hour job, but he quit that one due to he didn't like it! He really doesn't like to work I think, but that is only my opinion. His girlfriend, she is not the mother of his child OK..she is someone he met online on 'myspace'. They have been together for about 4 years now. But she has never had children of her own, and I'm sure at her age, as she's almost 40, doesn't want to start off with little children now. I tired to tell my son that he is suppose to do anything he can do to support his child. I had two full time jobs when I was raising my two sons. I was divorced and their dad only paid $300.00 a month for two kids, as I never went back to court and had it raised. BUT we aren't the parents of our granddaughter. The courts said we were her legal guardians, and the parents are suppose to support her every needs, not us. But we are the ones that do everything for her. It would be nice to have her dad just remember my birthday and of course mother's day. Do I sound harsh? If so,it is rightly so..but you know the Lord is watching over me and my granddaughter. He knows just how much it takes to raise a little girl who's parents just don't take up on their responsibilities as her parents. Her mother has 5 other kids, by 5 other men. She only has about one or two left in her home, as she farms out the older kids to her oldest brother to raise. He has the oldest sister of my granddaughter and the oldest brother of my granddaughter in his home, raising them both. They are 13 and 12 years old now. My granddaughter, Austin, has a sister that lives with her daddy in NV. Yes, one other daddy got involved and he went to court and took custody of his daughter to get her out of the mess the mother lives in. So we got legal guardianship of our granddaughter and then her mother has two smaller children in her home. Or at least I think that is where they were living last we heard. She sometimes lets her other brothers take care of her 4 yr. old son and 2 year old daughter. This way she can go and come as she pleases. She has not called my granddaughter since Oct. last year, 2008. She only called twice last year as it was. She has not made any effort to see my granddaughter for 5 years now. She has forgotten all about our little Austin. So like I tell Austin, we love her and we picked her special to come live with us and let us just love her so much. She is 'our little angel'. She does keep me on my toes, but you know, her dad is my son, and I just can't believe that I have a son that can't even come see his daughter each year, nor can he ever remember his own mother's birthday each year. I just let him have it today when I spoke to him. He kept making up excuses, but I told him he can talk himself blue in the face to me, it was all a bunch of excuses. I have been telling him for years now, as he use to be in the Marine Corps, to save $5.00 a month aside for his daughter. Now it is summer coming up and I need help with paying for Austin's day care during the summer, and he can't come up with any money. He doesn't have any savings at all. He said he was saving but spent the $350.00 on his truck, as he needs that for work. They have a new car and his 15 or so year old truck. He bought this junk piece of a truck when it was running like you know what. We tried to tell him it wasn't worth what they charged him, yet he wouldn't listen. Now I've told him and told him to just save a little back each month, it doesn't have to be much, $5.00 a month for years now for his daughter, and boom, he has not even tried to save for her. I ask him about her college money? He doesn't have any nor will he. I told him we don't ask him to pay us back for her private medical and dental insurance we have on her, nor do we ask him to pay for babysitters when we need to go out and do things. I told him I just had to fork out $30 for a sitter to go to a class that we needed and wanted to go to learning more about Austin's emotional illness that he had a hand in not caring for her as a little baby. This was for Austin's sake, if we had not had Austin, we would not have had to go to this class..but just to learn all we can on her emotional status, we have to and would like to go learn. We don't charge him for the times we have to put out money for her clothes, books, school supplies, lunches, food, medicine, medical/dental insurance, nor do we take him to court for his back child support money he owes us. The most he could do was help us out with getting her in day care for this summer. I've had to go to the state and get the paperwork for her to qualify for day care with SRS before. But now that he's paying that wonderful $200.00 a month for child support, he feels that is all he should fork out. That doesn't cover the lowest cost for day care. I really need to go back to SRS and see if she can qualify for anything else.I hate to beg, but you know, when you're on disability yourself, you have to do what you have to do to raise a child. My husband can't go back to work at his second job until he gets a doctor's release saying he can return to work without any restrictions. His leg/ankle pain is doing much better. He is on neurotin, which seems to be doing the job. He has bad back aches now, but he sees the neurologist doctor the end of this month. I hope and pray that his leg and ankle will be so much better and the pain stays away. When we both were sick at the same time, I had the infection in my leg while my husband couldn't move his other leg and foot, due to so much pain. He was in the hospital for it, yet I couldn't go in, as we have a little girl here that we have to raise. She would go nuts if we both were not home for her each day. I told my son, I can't even be sick, due to raising his daughter. He had told everyone two years ago when he flew up here that he was going to be moving up here..a LIE! He knew he and his fiancee'would never move up here to Wichita, KS. He lied to the school, to the church and to us. He can't see that is a lie, as he's not even tried to save money to come up here to see her at all. He said that the money he had saved went to fix his truck, a new radiator. Well that was $350.00, that doesn't seem to me he saved too long. He knows he didn't save that much. He had to not eat out or what ever it is they do, and took the money he had to pay a bill or whatever and fixed his truck up with that. I told him a savings account for his daughter shouldn't be used for anything except his daughter! I hate to talk to him like I have to, due to he is 34 years old. I told him that at his age he should have a career by now, and a life! He has none of the things a 34 year old man should have. He's not a teenager anymore, and he needs to grow up. He is selfish I think, and I hate feeling this way,but sometimes a mother just has to lay it all on the line and say it like it is. It is his daughter that is going to get hurt the most out of this. She has two parents that don't give one ioda about her. They don't visit or call on a regular basis. Her mom is more or less out of the picture. My son, her dad, he has only flown up here one time since we moved here in 2005, 4 years ago to see her. He calls when he can. Normally it was once a week, then it went down to maybe once every two weeks, now it is 'whenever'! His excuse is 'he's working'. I told him if he's working that much, he should have enough money to send for her day care. When we were on the telephone talking, he said his boss called and wanted him to call they back up. I told him that was a good time to start saving money for his daughter's needs. If they wanted him to come back to work on his day off, he should take that "extra" money, as if he had the day off he wouldn't have earned it, and put it aside for his daughter's use. He didn't see it that way until I mentioned it he said. If they had not called him to work on his day off, he wouldn't have had that money anyway to spend. So that is like "extra money" he can just put that amount or even half of that amount aside in a place he calls Austin's funds. I told him to go see the temporary agencies for a day job. If he works a whole day, he'd make close to $50.00 a day. If he worked only 4 days in a temp. job in one month, he could make the extra money up for her day care. As it is, she can't stay home with me all day. She and I get into arguments every day, morning until night time. It is one thing or the other. IF I say YES, she'll say NO, just to defy me. She wants to be the boss and grown-up all the time. If she'd just be a 7 year old kid. That is all I want her to be, not making decisions or worrying about anything else. I'd love to be 7 years old again I told her. I'd play, go to school, do my homework and everything my parents told me without an argument. She just lets that conversation blow over her head. You could talk to her about things all day, and she wouldn't care. She only wants it one way, her way! Duh, do you see a pattern here, daughter like father?? HUM, maybe! LOL...but anyway, I had to let off steam. I just can't get over that my own son can't remember my birthday nor try harder to call me on Mother's day. His excuse for calling my cell phone was that he somehow lost our home telephone number out of his cell phone. Go figure. I guess it just popped out by itself. If I'm home I normally don't have my cell phone on, or I can't hear it ringing. I expect people to call me on my home telephone first anyway. I tell everyone that, due to I know I can't hear my cell phone most of the time. If I'm out someplace and it's noisey, I don't always hear my cell phone. Like I told him, for the last 57 years, my birthday has always been on May 2! One week later, it's mother's day. Oh well..his birthday is coming up in Aug. we'll see.
My oldest son saved his last few minutes to give me a call on my birthday and Mother's day. He wanted to make sure I heard it from him. He even told his son, my 13year old grandson to make sure he called me and told me "Happy Mother's Day". Which my beautiful granson, Jesse, did call me. He was a day late, as it was Monday, but hey, he's a kid, grandson, and my 34 yr. old son, father of my granddaughter couldn't even call me on my birtday or Mother's day, or the day after Mother's day!
I should be greatful for what all I do have. I do have a husband that loves me dearly and a beautiful 7yr. old granddaughter that loves us both, enough to call us 'mommy' and 'daddy'. I have a 36 yr. old son that 'remembers' when my birthday is and Mother's day. Did I tell you my oldest son is in prison. yes, he's there for 2 more years. It's a long long story why, but he got convicted 6 years in prison. It could have been worse, but we are just thankful that he is alive and well and remembers to call his 'mom'. I have enough on my plate already, I shouldn't have to give up my entire 'old age' to raise a child that my son should be raising. The very least he could do is remember my birthday and keep calling until he reaches me on Mother's day or the day after. There isn't any reason that is good enough that he couldn't have called or tried to call me Monday, after Sunday's Mother's day. He is just lazy. I remember tho, I do love my children, and my beautiful, smart grandchildren so much. My wonderful husband, Craig, as he is like no other man. He is just absolutly wonderful and is a hard working man. After all, he is not the father to my sons, yet he took them into his life when he married me at age 27, and here my 34 year old son can't even provide for his daughter. My husband took on an entire family, me at 35 years old, my oldest son was 11 and my youngest son was 9 when we got married. My wonderful husband was only 27, yet took on the 'ready made family' as if it were his very own. He is taking on the responsibilities of raising Austin like she was "our" little girl. I do have a wonderful husband and Lord, thank you so much for making sure we met and got married. I couldn't have ask for a better partner as the one I have now, Craig. Thank you Lord for all you have given me and my family and all you will continue to give us.

Mom's and Wives can't be sick!

I was last on here 21 April, telling you about my husband. What I didn't mention was my ankle. I had a total left knee replacement March 2008, one year ago. Well this past week, as it started on Monday, my left ankle started to swell up. it has swollen up before so I really didn't think too much of it, kept going doing my normal routines each day. Well, by Wednesday, 22 April, my ankle was really swollen and hurt, so I called my primary doctor up so he could sign some disability paperwork for me, as I'm medically retired. I wanted him to see my left ankle too, and went to see him. He looked at my ankle and said that he wanted me to start wearing some compression hosiery on both legs. My right ankle was slightly swollen, nothing like my left ankle. I even had some redness around my ankle and top of my foot when he saw me. He took my disability paperwork and said give him until the end of the week to get it filled out, which I told him OK. My primary doctor told me to take the prescription he had written for the compression hosiery to the medical store and I did. I had no idea they had to measure you for these things. He also had ordered me the kind you wear with a garter belt, in silver color at that! I couldn't believe what he had ordered for me. I told the lady at the medical store, and I don't mean anything by this, but I said to her "Do I look like a blue haired little old lady?" She laughed and said that blue haired old ladies wouldn't wear the garter type compression stocking if they were for both legs. The doctor normally only orders the garter belt kind if you only have to wear one compression stocking on one leg, not on both legs. Remember he had wanted me to wear them on both my legs, not just one! I asked her didn't they come in pantie hose style and a tan or more 'human' looking color than silver? She said yes they do and I should call my doctor back up before she ordered them and see if he'll change it to pantie hose in a flesh or tan color. I called and got his nurse and she acted put out when I ask for a different kind, pantie hose, not garter things and flesh color ones, not silver. She then said to me "Do you want those in white?"I couldn't believe my ears, had she not heard me say flesh color or tan? I then told her "NO, not white, flesh or tan color". She said she would get the doctor to sign the new prescription and fax it to the medical store. What a hoot. I had no idea they had to measure you for these things and the cost. I almost fainted when the lady at the medical store said they cost almost $100.00 a pair! I couldn't hardly believe it. I am on medicare and have two other insurances, as I'm disabled. She told me that medicare wouldn't cover the cost due to I did not have any lesions on my legs. I still couldn't believe my ears. I asked her why..she went on to tell me that is the way medicare was set up, normally diabetics have lesions on their legs and that is the only way medicare will cover some of the cost. I don't have diabetes either. I told her I have other insurance, and she sad that should cover the cost, but she would let me know. I pray these things will last a life time! I normally ruin regular pantie hose the first time I put them on! I can't wait..then again, this is what I found out when I had to go to the ER on Saturday.
Well by Saturday, and in the meantime my husband's back is still killing him, my ankle looked the size of a good sized grapefruit! The redness went down to the bottom of my foot, almost on the direct bottoms of my feet. The top of my left foot was so swollen, all I could get on was a slide on pair of bright pink house slippers! The swelling had gone up half my leg to almost my calf by Saturday. I told my husband I wanted to go get it checked out but was afraid they would put me in the hospital. He told me to go anyway, and if they did, we'd come up with something. So it didn't take for me to hear that twice, as I was getting my purse and a list of my medications and headed for our little favorite hospital here in Wichita, KS. I drove myself to the hospital, as my husband's pain level is still quite high and he's taking pain medication for the pain of his pinched nerve, whether it's in his back or in his pelvis. He sees his neurologist doctor this coming Tuesday, 28 April. Got to the hospital and they called me pretty quick, and the nice female doctor came in the room and looked at my ankle and asked me how long it had been that way. I told her it had started the first of the week, but told her our situation at home, with my husband's pinched nerve and his horrible pain, can't walk or do anything for himself hardly, and we also have custody of our 7 yr. old granddaughter too. She felt my leg and saw it was warm, red and swollen. She said that she was going to send me down to get a test on my leg to see if it was a blood clot. So they did put an IV type needle in my arm and drew blood. They left the needle in so if they had to draw more blood they could. Isn't it wonderful that they do that now a days instead of poking several holes in you for blood like they use to. So went down for the test for the blood clot and came back to the room. They put me in a wheel chair to keep me off my sore ankle and swollen leg. I got back to the room and another doctor came in and said it didn't look like a blood clot but they were waiting for the test results. It came back finally and it was not a blood clot. The first female doctor that had originally came into my room in ER came back in and said that it looked more like an infection to her. She looked all over my leg and foot, even in-between my toes. She was looking for a cut, bug bit or anything that could have caused an infection to enter. Well she kept looking and finally I saw a pin sized hole in the middle toe on my left foot. She looked at the way the swelling was going and she said that was probably the spot where the infection got in my foot. She asked me if I had been outside working in the garden recently or did I accidentally hit my leg or foot. I told her I had been out pulling some old weeds out of last year's garden a little bit this past week. My 86 yr. old neighbor had offered to come do it, but I felt so bad that he had wanted to do it, so I had gone out Wed. and just pulled them up myself, but left them in a small pile in the garden area. I guess I should have gone ahead and put the dead plants,old leaves and garden trash in my neighbor's garbage can, as he had come outside and told me I could use his garbage can as ours was always full and his is just about empty each week. See our next door neighbor is 86 years old and last year (2008) his wife died one day before her 90Th birthday. He had been her care giver and he is very lonely right now and wants to just help out to keep busy. He hated being inside all winter and now it's warmer, we both love to be out in the yard. So I should have known that if I hadn't picked the old dead sticks and leaves up and put them in his trash can as he said I could have done, he would go out and do it himself! Which he did just that! He has a riding lawn mower and cut our grass for us Wednesday, as he did ask me if I didn't mind if he had done that. I told him no I sure didn't mind, as I don't think I could have stood on my foot that long to cut the grass. As it was, just pulling out the dead weeds and old left over dead garden parts almost did me in. I had tried to weed-eat around the little trees and house after he cut the yard, or I'm sure he would have attempted to do that too. I know he wants to help out and that keeps him going, but my husband and I do feel bad, due to his age and my husband (nor I) had cleaned up the old stuff from last year's garden sooner before his back, had started bothering him. Our neighbor Loren, loves doing things for people, so I guess it was OK for him to just do it for us. Well he did come over Saturday, before I went to the hospital and he told us he had gone out to the pile of old garden stuff I had pulled up and left there, and put it in his garbage can himself. He didn't want us to be mad he had done it, for he said he had an old 'manure fork' in his shed and it only took him three forks full to get it all in the garbage can! Of course we felt guilty, but hey, by then my foot was killing me and I just wanted to not think of having to go pick up trash outside. I just wanted to see the doctor and get my foot and leg looked after, it was so swollen and red. Oh yes, Loren's wife had to wear compression stockings too, so guess what, he brought me over an old pair of hers he still had. He said he hoped I could use them, cause he paid a lot for them too..'back when'. He said he paid right at $30.00 a pair 'back when', and I told him what the pair the medical place was charging now, a pair, $100.00!, Loren almost fell off the recliner he was sitting in. He said he knew they cost a lot 'back when' he had to buy them for his wife, but they had gone up a lot. Like I said,he has such good intentions, and he and I both don't like to waste perfectly good things. So I tried on one of the compression stockings and it fit my 'not so swollen leg', but I couldn't get anything on the left leg it hurt like all get out and there was no way I could get that darn stocking over my toes even. So I told Loren, thank you and he only stayed a little bit and said he had to go back home to watch a TV show. But it was very thoughtful for him to remember what I had told him that my doctor has said the first part of the week when I saw my primary doctor and he had ordered me to wear compression stockings on both legs. Loren is a good decent man, and he is a great neighbor. He attends a church, not ours, but he goes to one that the pastor had did the services for his wife's funeral, so he was comfortable at that church and knew everyone. We told him if he wanted to ever 'visit' our church, to let us know, we'd sure want him to come. But like I told my husband, even if you can't get out and go to church, God can still be with you. As it is the winter time, Loren can't get out on the ice and snow, so he doesn't get to go to church much, and he sits home and reads his bible. I told my husband that God will watch over us, no matter where we were.
Getting back to my ER visit. The doctor examined my leg and said she though I had either a staff or bacterial infection. She had wanted to keep me in the hospital to give me antibiotics through an IV. I told her she could do what ever it was she had to do to me to get my leg and foot better, but I could not and would not go into the hospital. I explained to her and the other doctor that my husband was home with a bad pinched nerve in his back and couldn't take care of our 7 yr. old granddaughter we have custody of. She has a lot of emotional problems and she probably won't understand if I was in the hospital and wasn't home. There her Daddy (papa) was laid up with a bad leg, and her mommy (nanny) had to go to the hospital over her bad leg and foot. So the doctor said she would have to give me an bag full of antibiotics in an IV there at the ER and I'd have a prescription to take home with several different kinds of antibiotics to take for the next 10 days. So that is how it all went. She told me that her and the other doctor went out to research my symptoms while I was getting the antibiotics in my IV, and that I had what is call "Cellulitis. It is a kind of bacterial infection of the skin that has a tendency to spread. That was how mine was acting, moving up my leg and down to the bottom of my feet. It usually involves the skin and subcutaneous (under the skin) structures, but sometimes even deeper tissues can be involved. The most common way for cellulitis to get started is through a small break in the skin through which the bacteria enters. There are usually symptom of pain (especially with movement), just like I had. It has swelling, redness and increased warmth, enlarged lymph glands may be present. I had almost all those symptoms that sort of gave it away. There may also be red streaks extending towards the center of the body - this is evidence of spread of the infections through the lymphatic channels. Cellulitis is potentially very serious because of the ability for it to spread to the blood stream or to other structures such as tendons and joints. Along with the antibiotics, you are suppose to apply heat, like using a heating pad, and rest and elevate the infected part. It is very important that you follow the directions very carefully or else you could have a big mess on your hands if you don't do exactly what the doctor tells you. I guess with an already sick/disabled husband at home and a 7 yr. old granddaughter, no wonder they wanted to keep me in hospital..Like I told them, we don't have any relatives that live close by that can come and help out. Of course you have friends, but you don't want your friends taking time away from their family or things they have to do to 'baby sit' you. Plus, mommies and wives aren't supposed to get sick. Who else would take care of the family like "MOM" does? The doctor at the ER made me promise to call my primary doctor up on Monday and get in to see him. I had not told her that all he thought I should do was wear compression stockings..in silver with a garter belt. You just wait until I see him Monday! Needless to say, he'll get an ear full. Why didn't he recognize this infection sooner? Maybe it wasn't swollen up enough or red enough when I say him for him to recognize it. Maybe I shouldn't be so judgemental until I give the guy a chance..right? RIGHT!
This is how my week has been going. It seems when it rains, it pours! Until tomorrow, or whenever I get back to having time to continue my "Life as it is"...but it's a good life. GOD gave HIS only son so we can have a 'good' life. I am blessed~I live in a great country that lets me decide what religion I want to be. It lets me attend the church of my choice. But I have that choice and I know that God is always with me, no matter where I am and what I'm doing. HE can be with you too, so let HIM into your heart today. Let HIM help you too.

My Savior Is Always With Me

I would like first to say that I prayed today for God to take away my husband's pain. He really has never been a "sick" person. The biggest event in his life since we've been married, as it will be 22 years Oct. 3rd, was a broken ankle until last year, 2008. As you know we have custody of our 7 year old granddaughter. She has a lot of emotional issues, so she has to be rocked to sleep every night. She's never ever has just gone to bed in her bedroom. We leave a bright night light on in her room and she still won't just go get in her bed and go to sleep at night. We rock her, smooth her hair and sing to her, after we read her a story of course and she falls asleep in my arms. Craig, my husband, would pick her up and carry her to bed each night. Well last year, 2008, it finally caught up with him. He was having horrible pains in his low side area and went to see his doctor. He was diagnosed with a hernia. He went in hospital, had surgery to repair it and did fine. Came home, went back to work and the pain sort of continued, but moved to the other side. He and his doctor thougth at first it was just the pain from having surgery, the pulling and all one experiences in adominal surgery. But 6 months after the first surgery for his hernia, he went back in hospital and he had another hernia on the other side. So needless to say, he went back into surgery to have the new hernia repaired. He did very well after the surgery, until this leg pain he's been having started. Now you're looking at a 49 year old guy that has been in excellent health all his life, no weight problems, no smoker and boom, it seems that all he is having now is health problems. The pain he was put into hospital with this past week has not let us any. He is still having it, really bad at times, but the pain never leaves. He is taking a lot of medication to help with pain, but it doesn't really do anything except put him asleep. That is good in itself, but when he wakes up, the pain is still bad. Please everyone pray that the leg pain goes away or at least lets up some. He can't see the neurologist until 28 April, which is a week away now. I guess if he were in hospital, they would work him in, but since he can't stay in hospital they give him the next "closest" appointment. Please pray that the pain will go away or at least let up a bit. I can tell he's in pain by the way he talks, or should I say sort of yells. I asked him tonight, as he was getting onto Austin for not eating supper. I asked him "are you in pain?" He said "yes, how do you know"? I told him, well for one thing, by the way your talking to people. I know he felt guilty, but when your in pain, as most of us know, you can't always be chearful. Austin went over to her "daddy", as she calls him now, "oh daddy, I love you and if I can kiss it and make it go away I would". What comes out of the mouths of babes! As we tell her when she gets a 'boo boo'', "we'll kiss it and make it better". I guess she was only trying to do the same thing. We explained to her that sometimes kissing doesn't always make pain go away. But if she prayed to God, that would help her "daddy', papa', so very much. She said her prayers and hoped that God could take "daddy's" pain away from his leg. We all prayed and she said she could hear the angels tell her that her 'daddy' will be better. It makes you wonder if little children do have a direct line to our Maker. I know I won't doubt what she says, but it always makes me wonder when she comes out with these little tid-bits, if indeed she can hear Him. But that is between her and God, and who are we to question it. I would appreciate it if you all would continue to pray for Craig and that his pain levels go down somewhat. Thank you all that have called him and prayed with him. He knows that his Savior is always with him.
Good night and will continue this tomorrow. Looks like I never heave time to write on here until very late or early in the morning time. But with continued prayers, we'll all feel better.

Good Intentions Sometimes Go A-Stray!

Last Sunday, Easter Sunday at that, I had to miss teaching my children church kids. I teach grades 1st through 5th grade students. We don't have a whole lot of kids that age in elementary school. I'd say on a good Sunday, I'd have about 8 or 9 kids coming to my class. Last Sunday, Easter Sunday, I had planned out my entire lesson. I was going to do the story on the Resurrection Eggs story. But none of it happened. Why you ask? Well you see my husband of 22 years woke up early on Easter Sunday morning, as we were trying to get ready to go to Easter Sun Rise Service and breakfast at the church. Nope, didn't happen. My grandaughter, Austin, got up and dressed. My husband, Craig, tried to get out of bed, but he couldn't move his right leg as he said it felt like his knee was going to explode. I tried to help him get up on it, but the more he tried, the more it hurt. I convinced him to go to the ER so a doctor could check it out. I looked at his right leg and it was just slightly swollen. It wasn't red, or anything else. Just he couldn't touch it, nor could he put any pressure on that right leg any place on it. I took my granddaughter, Austin, to the church, where her wonderful babysitter was working with the Youth Group. She could watch over Austin, however, since breakfast was almost over by the time we got there. I then drove Craig to the ER, which is at St. Joe's hospital here in Wichita, Ks.
They were not busy, thank goodness, so they took Craig right in. The doctor's examed it, and felt it must be a blood clot or something to that effect. They sent Craig down to a special room where they did a doppler test to see if it was a blood clot in his leg area. Nope, it was not a blood clot. Then they did a special test to see if it the veins had stenosis, or narrowing in them so the blood wouldn't get to his feet and toes. His toes and feet are always cold and the doctor told him 'he'd hate to be his wife, with all those cold feet he hat!". I told the doctor that Craig had always had cold feet every since we'd been married 22 years ago! I guess for one you don't see too many couples being married for 22 years (together) now, and the fact that he still had cold as ice feet that long! But we will be married for 22 years come this Oct. 3rd 2009. The doctor's then said they wanted to admit him and run more test and do an MRI on his spine and legs. So they admitted Craig to the hospital Easter Sunday. That evening they did the MRI with and without contrast on his spine and leg, and did not really see anything that would cause this much pain. Out of 1 to 10, Craig's pain level was a 10+! You couldn't touch any part of his leg from the pelvic area down to the tips of his toes. You couldn't put any pressure on the calf part of his lef and you could not squeez or touch it at all. The doctor's said they had never seen a leg act like this. So they consulted some neruologist doctors. They said they saw in the MRI a slightly compacted disc in the lower back, but that it wasn't bad enough to cause all theis pain Craig was having. We prayed that the pain would subside and that it wasn't a serious problem. I know that God must have heard us because they did give Craig some shots and the pain subsided some what. The medicine in the shots was a strong narcotic and it made Craig sleepy and not able to do too much of anything. So given that, they tried to get him to just stay in bed and not get out for any reason. I brought Craig my prayer shawl that was sent to me by a dear lady on my online prayer shawl group. I wished that Craig had one, but I will try my best to make him one now. The doctor said that they wanted to keep him off the leg and on the pain medication to see if it would get any better. After two days in bed, they told Craig to try to get up and walk to the bathroom door and back, which with help from me or the nurse he was able to do that. (Here it is late again and I'll finish this tomorrow...I hope)

Colors - Have You Thought About Their Meaning?

ORANGE is for Heaven so bright. (2 Samuel 22:13-14)

YELLOW is for God's perfect light. (Matthew 5:48, Revelation 21:22-23)

BLACK is for the sins we've made. (Romans 3:23)

RED is for the blood He gave. (Romans 5:8)

WHITE is for our cleansing from sin. (Psalm 51:1-2)

GREEN is for our new life in Him. (Colossians 1:10)

PINK is for His free gift to share. (Matthew 28:19-20)

PURPLE is for the crowns we'll wear! (2 Timothy 4:8)

The colors explained:
Orange:Heaven is a beautiful and wonderful place where God lives. (Revelation 4:1-11)
Yellow: God is perfect and holy. Sin can not be with God. (Revelation 4:8b)
Black: We have huge problem. The Bible tells us that we do wrong things, we sin. It is impossible for us to be perfect! The Bible also tells us that our sins must be punished, and that blood must be shed to cover our sins. (Hebrews 9:22)
Red: The great news is that God loves you and me and sent his perfect SON, Jesus, to be punished in our place. When Jesus died on the cross, he took the punishment that we deserved. (2 Peter 2:21-25.)
White: Only Jesus' perfect blood can make us clean. (Hebrews 9:11-15.)
Green: God no longer sees us as sinful, but made new in Jesus. We can now grow to be like God, because his Spirit now lives in us. (Romans 8:9 and Colossians 1:10-14.)
Pink: God wants us to share his free gift! (Matthew 28:19-20)
Purple: When you believe in Jesus, you are part of God's royal family. We are a royal priesthood. He has promised his children a crown and a special room in his mansion in Heaven for eternity! (1 Peter 2:9-10, 2 Timothy 4:8, John 14:1-4.)

Dealing with emotions

I was trying to post something every day. That didn't work out now did it? NOPE! But I will try to get a little posted tonight. The house is quite and it seems that everyone is asleep but me. Of course my lovely granddaughter is asleep right now. That is why it seems so quite now. My husband, Craig, rocked Austin asleep. You see even though she is 7 years old, we still have to rock her to sleep. She has never gone to bed in her bed when it is bed time. We've tried believe me. But it's something with her emotions now and getting into her bed in her own bedroom. She doesn't have a problem with sleeping with us however. Say IF she has a little girl that is coming over for a "sleep over", she can go to the bedroom and sleep. She has her little tantrums too. I shouldn't call what she has tantrums. She has a lot or rage in her sometimes. I'm sure it' from what she was exposed to as a baby. Her mother left her at 13 months old, just took the three olest kids, Jessie, Johnny and Allie. She moved from California to outside of Reno, NV. Just left Austin in Ca. with her daddy, who was working about 16 hours a day. He couldn't pay for child support and hire someone to watch Austin too. Austin's Uncle Bill was her babysitter for a while too.I'm so sleepy I'll have to finish this tomorrow....until then..
Posted by MollieJ143

EASTER EGG HUNT FOR COMMUNITY IN WICHITA, KANSAS ON 11 APRIL

YOU'RE INVITED TO A
COMMUNITY EASTER EGG HUNT!

WHEN: 11 APRIL 2009

WHERE: CHRIST COMMUNITY CHURCH UM

2130 S. WEBB ROAD

TIME: 12:15 PM. REFRESHMENTS WILL BE SERVED

EASTER EGG HUNT WILL START PROMPTLY at 1:00 P.M.

AGE GROUPS:
5 years and under will hunt eggs in an enclosed fence area at the church.
6 years up to 12 years old will hunt in a seperate area at the church
COME ONE, COME ALL TO OUR
COMMUNITY EASTER EGG HUNT!
2 GOLDEN EGGS WITH PRIZES, REFRESHEMENTS, DOOR PRIZES, FUN!
*** SEE YOU THERE ***

More on raising a granddaughter

I will try to continue to let you know what it is like on a daily basis to raise our lovely, but very much troubled granddaughter. The reason I say 'troubled' is, she has so many emotional problems due to the neglect and abuse she suffered as a baby. She is diagnosed with RAD, which stands for 'reactive attachement disorder', ODD, "oppositional defiance disorder", PTSD, "post traumatic stress disorder", ADHD, "attention defficient hyperactive disorder" and she was sexual abused or witnessed sexual overtones as a baby that traumatized her. She was also born with sleep apnea, and now uses a CPAP machine at night time to keep her breathing. She was subjected to drugs, alcohol and both parents smoking heavy when her mother was pregnant and after she was born. Neglect, I don't know how to even start. But RAD, the reactive attachment disorder is by far the worse she can be diagnosed with. You see RAD is more or less found in children that are adopted due to they are left in an orphanange in a bed or play pen unattended for long periods of time and sometimes not even cared for, fed or even changed, crying. You can forget the cuddle holding loving caring that normal parents give babies when they plan for them. These children are the worse neglected children in the world. Normally in a third world adoptive place the kids are just left wet, hungry, crying all day in their crib/bed. They have abandoment issues with having no human contact for long periods of time. This too can happen in America, if the parents neglect the child. Mothers normally are the ones that get custody of their birth children, so you would figure they would be the nurturing, loving mothers that God meant for them to be...Not necessary! Some of the birth mothers can neglect, forget, not feed, not care, not love, not even want to take care of the most wonderful gift from God, a baby. If this happens, even here in America a baby can be diagnosed with RAD, which is one of the diagnoses my granddaughter has. She was diagnosed with 'failure to thrive' when she was only 16 months old. Her "birth mother" had her living with her, but she failed to fed her or not feel her enough. She would leave my beautiful granddaughter in a play pen and give her a small little snack bag of cereal and a bottle for her food for all day. Even as a baby, she left her in a car seat all day and night. She was left to sleep, eat and play all by herself in the car seat from the time of her birth almost until she was old enough to be put in a play pen. The mother had my granddaughter in her home, along with all the other children she has. The older kids, older ones, half brother and sisters of my granddaughter, could fend for themselves, but as a baby you depend on your mom normally to feed, bath and take care of you. It was left up to the older children, and we're only talking about kids that were 6, 5, 3 years old taking care of my baby granddaughter. The sister that is right before my granddaughter, she would bring cereal or crackers to my granddaughter, her baby sister's play pen so the baby could have some food to eat. You just don't leave a baby in a play pen, or car seat all day crying, not caring or nurturing them. At age 13 months old, my granddaughter's own birth mother just abandoned her, took the three older children and moved to another state, leaving the baby with her daddy, my son. I'm not trying to make an excuse for my son, my granddaughter's father, but he worked about 15 or 16 hours a day. She was left with whomever could watch her for the day, as he couldn't afford to pay child support and day care both. That is when my husband and I stepped in and went from the state we lived in at the time, Arizona, and drove over to California, to pick up my granddaughter and bring her back to our home to take care of her. After all, her mom wasn't even really taking care of the older three kids she had taken with her to yet another state, Nevada. Here my son, my granddaughter's daddy, lived in southern California, the mom lived in Nevada with the older 3 siblings at the time and we had Austin, our dear, precious granddaughter, in Tucson, Arizona with us. We would take her back and forth to California every other week. We made sure we got permission from the parents stating we could have her in Arizona, for we did not want them saying we had taken her without their permission. As you see at that time my husband was in the military, Air Force. We had just moved back to the United States in Aug. 2001 from living in Germany for almost 6 years. That was the only "alone time" my husband and I have had since we have been married now going on 22 years. Remember we had my two boys, age 9 and 11 years old when we got married back in 1987. They grew up, moved out, joined the military, served their time and got out, started a family without the sacraments of being married. I think that is one reason what is wrong in the world today. It is just too darn easy to start a family and not be married, and even if you're married, it's just too easy to get divorced here in America at least I think. That is my own opinion, but if you're married, then you should have kids, not the other way around. Have the kids, and then maybe and that is a BIG maybe get married. Most of the time that marriage won't work out. For you really haven't given a thought to what God has asked of us and what 'Godly Laws" we should be obeying. Again, another reason we should all try to express God's word to others. We should teach our children about God and His laws. Even though I did teach my own boys about God, and they even accepted HIM, I couldn't make them follow HIS path once they were out of my own home. My children were taught right from wrong and to love God with all their heart. To follow HIS directions and obey HIS LAWS. I have no idea where it all when wrong. But all I can do now is pray that they both of my boys get back on the righteous path and follow God's ways.I will continue this tomorrow if I can get a chance to get back on here. If not, soon as I get some time, I'll let you know more. In the mean time, please pray for all the children that is brought into this world and just left unattended. These babies have never done anything to deserve a life of neglect. These are God's precious gifts, we should take care of them and love them, not just throw them away or neglect them. Posted By MollieJ14

Raising a granddaughter

Here I set finding myself thinking how in the world at my age (57) am I raising my 7 year old granddaughter? Well, it comes as no surprise that my husband (Craig) and I are. After all, I did raise my two grow sons, ages 36 and 33 years old, plus we were foster parents a year after we got married. Craig and I have been married for 22 years. I was married before and my sons are the product of that marriage. When Craig and I married, it was in 1987, my sons were 9 and 11 years old. Craig, you see, has never been married and has had no children of his own. So we thought when we finished raising my two sons they would be out on their own, and we'd be that "honeymoon" couple starting like brand new without kids. NOPE...that was not to be. We did get about 6 years 'what we call "alone" time' while we were stationed in Germany. Then we came back to the states in August of 2001 and Austin, our granddaughter was born 20 Dec 2001. It came to be that her parents couldn't take care of her and we to court and won legal permanent guardianship over her at age 3. It was a long hard road to take on a young child at our ages, but we loved her so very much. We wanted to show her what it was like to grow up in a stable home and have two people around her all the time that love her so very much. So as you see, I'm 57 and Craig is 49, with a 7 year old granddaughter to raise. We do have a 13 year old grandson, Jesse. He lives with his mom and step dad in Maryland. He is the product of my oldest son and Austin is the product of my youngest son. Seems different, as I raised my sons to fulfill their responsibilities especially when they produce children. God wants them to raise their own children, enjoy the pain and joy of watching a child grow up to adult hood. But since some parents can't do that, that is the reason most grandparents, like us, step in and take over the responsibility. It is truly a pleasure to see her grow, but it is painfully to see how emotionally damaged she was during this whole thing with her parents. I know that God has so much in store for Craig and I. HE has so much in store for Austin too. She is a precious angle in disguise.
Posted by MollieJ143 at 8:28 AM 0

Rise and shine the Son is beautiful today

Good morning Miss Mollie, Charismatic Craig and the always beautiful Awsome Princess Austin. Smile and remember that God loves you and so do we.